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I recently visited my mother across the globe. Though in relatively good health, the pandemic aged her in some ways. We shared many laughs along with serious conversations about her finances and her desire to live at home as long as possible.

Since many of us have parents who are aging (or YOU are the aging parent), it is prudent to have discussions about their wishes, aspects of their lives that are important to them, dreams that have yet to be fulfilled, concerns about the future, and plans for potential incapacity or illness.

Topics for discussion

Make sure that your parents’ legal documents are in order. Have your parents executed a Will, a Living Trust, and/or Durable Powers of Attorney for financial matters and healthcare? Are they up to date? Do you know where they are?

Discuss your parents’ preferences regarding healthcare. Do they have doctors who they trust? If they are currently sick, what type of treatments would they consider and how will this impact their finances? Do they have medical directives that state the use or termination of life-sustaining care in case of terminal illness?

Housing considerations. Talk openly about moving to an Assisted Living Facility if they can not easily manage living at home. Or, do they prefer caregivers to help at home with daily activities such as driving, getting dressed or cooking?

Learn about your parents’ financial resources. What type of assets do they own? Are adequate funds earmarked for medical needs or prolonged illness? Do they have any insurance policies (life, auto, property, long-term care) and are they all current? Find out where they keep their password information for their digital accounts and smart phones (for access to two-factor authentication if necessary).

Discuss with family members what their roles and responsibilities are. Should a parent become incapacitated, is there a child who can devote their time to their care? What are the options available if no one is available to assist full time?

Ask what your parents’ preferences are for end-of-life arrangements. Do they want to be buried or cremated and where? Do they own any prepaid funeral plans or a burial plot?

Having these important and difficult discussions empowers children to make decisions that are consistent with their parents’ wishes which will positively contribute towards their more rewarding and peaceful twilight years.

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